Reality Check: The Case for Relational Christianity

by: J. Lee Grady

Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul modeled accessibility and had close bonds with their disciples. That's the way we should do ministry.

A friend in Alabama recently told me about a preacher who came to his city in unusual style. The man arrived at a church in a limousine and was whisked into a private waiting room behind the stage area. The evangelist gave specific instructions to leave his limousine's engine running (I guess he wasn't concerned about rising gas prices) so that the temperature inside his car would remain constant.

This evangelist then preached to a waiting crowd, took up his own offering and retired to the waiting room for some refreshments. Then he left the church with his entourage without even speaking to the host pastor.

This guy's "faith"—he is touted as a faith preacher—may have been inspiring, but his love was as cold as the air inside his oversized vehicle. His behavior that night represents why so many ministries today are in crisis. We've created a monster—a version of Christianity that is slick, marketable and event-driven but lacking in any authentic impact. It is as one-dimensional as a flat-screen TV—and a total turnoff to people who are starving for genuine relationships.

This preacher's detached style is the exact opposite of the Apostle Paul's. His deep relational bond with his disciples is reflected in all his epistles. He almost slobbers as he describes his affection for his ministry team in the 16th chapter of Romans. When he says goodbye to his colleagues in Ephesus they weep and kiss each other. He tells the Philippians: "I have you in my heart" (1:7, NASB).

And he conveys uninhibited affection when he greets the Thessalonians: "Even though we had some standing as Christ's apostles, we never threw our weight around or tried to come across as important, with you or anyone else. We weren't aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did" (2:6, The Message).

Paul's ministry style is best visible in his relationship with his spiritual son Timothy, who often traveled with him. More than one-fourth of the 27 books in the New Testament are either written by Paul to Timothy or by Paul and Timothy to various churches (2 Corinthians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, and Philemon). This clearly signals that genuine Christianity is not about pulpits, meetings, suits and ties, microphones, entourages or air-conditioned limousines. It has everything to do with close teamwork.

How can we reclaim relational Christianity? We would be wise to take these steps:

1. Become accessible. Jesus modeled accessibility against a backdrop of an austere religious culture. The rabbis in Jesus' day were obsessed with their robes, titles and public pontifications while they stayed away from the common people. Meanwhile Jesus held children in his arms, ate with tax collectors and showed affection to his disciples.

Over the past 30 years many of our churches have developed a sterile religious culture that keeps leaders elevated and separated from their congregations. And the younger generation is rejecting this because they can see the emperor has no clothes. Churches that want to grow in this current season—and that want to reach the younger generation—will have to ditch these old paradigms, along with the teachings that created them.

2. Open up your life. I regularly meet ministry leaders who tell me they have no friends. Some feel threatened by superiors who dominate or control them. Others fear that if they admit struggles or weaknesses they will lose their jobs. Others have never had a spiritual father or significant mentor. They are relationally empty. They have nothing to impart but 3-point sermons and motivational principles. They may shout praises on Sunday morning but they struggle with loneliness on Sunday night.

This dam must break. Hearts must open, honest confession must flow and godly friendships must be forged if we hope to offer healing to our fractured, love-starved generation. Church should be the ultimate place where people can find connection—not just with God but also with each other.

3. Develop effective discipleship models. In all the countries I have visited I've never seen a healthy, growing church that didn't have an organic small-group system. Real disciples are not made on an assembly line; they are fashioned with loving care in intimate, relational settings.
One of the main reasons I am serving God today is that a youth leader named Barry St. Clair took me under his wing when I was 15 and nurtured me in a small group Bible study for more than three years. Barry, at age 30, was already a successful author and speaker and a busy husband and father, but he took the time to invest in a Southern Baptist teenager by including me on ministry trips and praying with me about personal problems.

Barry became my most trusted counselor after I went into ministry. He stood with me at my wedding. He prayed over me at my ordination. He still writes me encouraging notes—35 years after he taught me to have a quiet time with God using Peter Lord's The 29:59 Plan.

Today we need to get back to the basics. After the inaccessible preachers have driven off in their limousines, we are still called to make disciples. And we can't fulfill that mandate until we stop this silly ego show and embrace a humble ministry style that puts relationships first.

Christ-based Leader Calls Christian Anti-Movements Into Question

Anti-gay, Anti-abortion Movements More Cult-like than Christ-like

I thought this interview with Dr. Davidson was interesting. Read it and give your comments.

A bomb explodes at a clinic. An abortion doctor is slain in a church. A former official of the nation's largest denomination alludes to the death of the President of the United States, citing the precatory prayers of the Bible. According to Dr. Steven B. DavidSon, these are not ideas, concepts, principles or precepts of Jesus Christ, or the Christian movement he and millions of others hold dearly. Based on a video on the anti-abortion movement recently, and an extensive document more than ten years ago, he revisited the topic through a composition of questions posed by anti-abortionists.

Anti-abortionist: Dr. DavidSon, I viewed your recent video and you stated that anyone believing that abortion is Biblically unacceptable 100% of the time has a problem with the God you serve. Aren't you a Christian?

DavidSon: Clearly! Concerning the statement I made in the video, do you realize that God commanded His people to wipe out nations, men, women, and children (Exodus 23:23-24; Numbers 33:52).

Anti-abortionist: They were ungodly heathens.DavidSon: Did you know that God commissioned 'ungodly heathens' to devastate His people and create circumstances so deplorable for them that women were left to eat their-own children (Lamentation 2:20, 4:10; Jeremiah 19:9)?

Anti-abortionist: They were disobedient.

DavidSon: What about David's child? David committed adultery and arranged for Uriah's death (i.e., the woman's husband). As a result of David's acts, God renders what could only be defined as an after-birth abortion (2 Samuel 14-18). Given these facts and many more, what do you learn about God's view of life?

Anti-abortionist: God is sovereign, and we are talking about innocent children in the womb. Furthermore, the Biblical references you cite are Old Testament.

DavidSon: Clearly, our God created human life, and His Son (Jesus) unveiled in the New Testament loves children.

Anti-abortionist: Then you agree. Jesus is anti-abortion, and that life begins with conception.

DavidSon: I'm not so sure that Jesus is anti-abortion in the sense that you mean it, and concerning life, life begins before conception. The sperm and zygote are living agents. However, the 'when does life begin' logic is not consistent with what Jesus meant by the term, birth. The very meaning of the term 'birth' is to 'come-forth.'

Anti-abortionist: Are you trying to say that it is Christian to be pro-abortion?

DavidSon: Since you prefer a New Testament perspective, I think the real question is, 'is a person pro-Jesus Christ?' Jesus made a statement demonstrating that He was not an anti-abortionist in the sense that you are. It is universally known that Judas betrayed Jesus. Jesus said "it would have been better if he had not been born (Matthew 26:24; Mark 14:21)." Given His statement, you would consider Jesus pro-abortion!

Anti-abortionist: You are distorting Scripture. He did not mean that as a principle. And if He did, Jesus meant that Judas should have never been conceived, because that's were life begins.

DavidSon: I beg to differ. Jesus did not say "it would be better if he (Judas) had not been born." The word for conceived in New Testament (Greek) is different from the word for birth (Compare Luke 1:36, [conceived]; Matthew 1:16, John 3:3-4 [born]). Jesus literally meant, 'it would have been better if Judas had not come from the womb.' By the way, He did not say this as a person determined to kill Judas. He said it knowing Judas' ultimate destination.You see, this earthly-life with all of its possessions and achievements is secondary to one's eternal destination (Mark 8:36). It is so secondary, the innocent, precious, perfect Son of God aborted His earthly-life for 'whosoever's' eternal salvation. (John 3:16...)

Whether it is birth resulting from rape, incest, the mother's health, some extraordinary physical dilemma, or if it is for the most trivial reason, the God I serve wants us to choose Him and His principles.

Every dollar and moment spent on the "anti-isms" such as the anti-gay and anti-abortion movements principally operate as stumbling blocks to the message of Jesus Christ. Where the Gospel (i.e., Jesus) is not the expressed message, these movements are accursed-cults in themselves (Galatians 1:8-9). By the way, these are not the most pressing sex-related issues involving the typical congregation. Issues such as adultery, pornography, pre-marital sex are more pervasive in the local congregation. However, abortion and homosexuality are easier targets.

Anti-abortionist: There have been millions of abortions, and your kind of thinking will lead to more abortions.

DavidSon: I understand your view. You believe any human-birth is more important than eternal life (salvation), and you ignore comprehensive Biblical truth to pursue your anti-Christ passions. Unbelievers have always sacrificed their children (2 Kings 17:31; 2 Kings 23:10). I would not discourage a birth into an unbeliever's home, but I'm certainly not going to encourage it without introducing Jesus first. Your issue is not with me. It is with Jesus who said of Judas, "it would be better if he had not been born." Clearly, it is better for some people not to be born. I'd rather share Jesus with an unbeliever than to pervert His message for any other religious cause. No! I'm not an anti-abortionist, and I'm not a pro-lifer in your view, but I am pro-Jesus Christ!

(Picture: Dr. DavidSon and interviewer Lisa Delong discuss thousands of Foster Care children without permanent homes as a major issue confronting those who urge adoptions)

Bishop Noel Jones Exposes Weaknesses of Prosperity Gospel

Once again, another prominent pastor confirms and supports what F. L. Anderson, author of "Clever Lies and Assumptions from the Pulpit to the Pews," states in his new book.

In a report published by Black Christian News Network, membership in African American congregations are up. However, while numbers are rising in the pews, numbers are decreasing in the offering plate. The article goes on to cite Bishop Noel Jones of the City of Refuge, a 17,000 member congregation in Los Angeles, CA, identifies several reason that could explain the rise and fall of church statistics.

According to Bishop Jones, “unbalanced teachings in the church are partially to blame for the crisis. We have endured 25 years of health, wealth and prosperity preaching and the prophet should have told us that we were going to be in this kind of situation and circumstance since they have such prophetic words," Jones said. "What happens is the church has capitalized the gospel and we have preached Americanism for gospel and ultimately we ended up crashing because there is no credulity and authenticity in the whole presentation."

He continues, "The only people who were making any real money were those who were expostulating the theology that left the psychology that debilitated the minds of those who were involved. The debilitation is that everybody expected to bring an offering in church and just get rich though nobody participated and partnered with God. Because at the end of the day, nobody receives a check in an envelope postmarked from heaven. It's your participation that makes it happen.... The ministry and the preachers have taken so much money from the church and lived lavish lifestyles. We need to put something back. We need to equip our people. As James puts it, very explicitly, 'Faith without works is dead.' We co-create, we perpetuate God's creation by functioning responsibly."

Bishop Jones said many Christians have basically lived on credit and owned nothing.

"So, what everybody was talking about as God's blessing was people living on credit. And the Bible says that the borrower is subject to the lender. So, Christian America simply joined the capitalistic bandwagon-- and in the name of God--articulated a theology that has no credulity."

To counteract the new pattern and reality that is taking place in the marketplace of ministry, one strategy is to position the church as a resource that people can use to battle their financial woes. In the case of Bishop Jones, he is doing business incubation-- a marketplace at which his congregation gathers every Sunday. There are 80 to 100 booths in which people present goods and services to the church and to the community. He says he finances some of the stronger business ideas and teaches management and budget skills to the owners, thereby recycling the money within the parameter of the church. He also holds "Urban Seminars" around the country, teaching fundraising/grant writing, financial reporting and compliance for organizations; prudent investing, corporate structuring and growth management.

"If you manage your money right, then everything else will be right" says Rev. Dr. Tecoy Porter, pastor of the 1000 member Genesis Church in Sacramento, CA.

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Here is an article from a brother in Christ that I blog with. If you truly love the truth of the Gospel, and not man made philosophies, then you will love this article.

A brother wrote me back regarding my article "church-religion", disagreeing about its history. I responded back to him hoping to gain a common understanding of the Lord. Well, I wasn't received well because of his "religion". This brother who is no longer on my email because of his request, told me that he is a Baptist pastor of HIS church and has no problems as I suggested in my article, and that the problems they do have he has dealt with them.

I respectfully advised him that his very terminology, determined that there is problems in his understanding of "Body Life". I admonished him that he is a mere "servant" which WE ALL are, and that his gift as a "pastor" is but a function of the "lowest" kind mind you in the New Testament speaking. And quoting from Jesus very words, you who desire to be the greatest among you, shall be the servant of you all, or the least of you (my paraphrase). The title of pastor is mentioned only ONCE in the NT, other titles such as bishop, deacon ect...all ALL defined in the original greek text (diakanos forgive my spelling of this greek word) as SERVANTS! You are NO greater than your fellow brothers or sisters!

Here is where the destructive behavior has come in many years ago in the Christendom, wanting to LORD over Gods flock, JESUS said in Matthew let this NOT be named among you ONCE, like the gentiles who Lord over people. Christ Jesus is the ONLY leader of the CHURCH/EKKLESIA, He really is. Pastors are UNDERSHEPHERDS who lead by example period, if they are even qualified. The working of the Body wherever you fellowship must not distort, embellish, off-set or mingle with the Spirit of Gods gathering of His "called-out-ones", ruling over them as if they were slaves.

This was pretty pointed and this brother erupted on me, and I gladly removed him in love from the email as he requested. You see, HE didn't get his traditional Man-lead way, and Christ became a "non-factor", he is the pastor and what he says overrules whatever I say or understand, whether it be truth or NOT. This is clear "cultic" behavior and he refused to let the Spirit and the Word of God have the authority. In truth, WE have no other AUTHORITY, get over it, you are not Jesus Christ, HE alone through the leading of the Spirit leads the Body of Christ.

This "thing ministry" has become whole other than the Lords, the ONLY ministry we as "Priest" have is IN Christ as we move, live and have are being. They have corrupted into power money and earthly fame through many earthly religious vices, that will be the death of what THEY know as church today.

The Chronicle newspaper has reported the great exodus from the "church" that has transpired the past several years is alarming. But understandably, given the history and light of what has transpired over the past 1700 years, moving from the humble saints to the institutional tyrants preaching unbiblical rhetoric, and defiling the sacred eternal purpose of Christ.

We are ONE in Christ and there is NO man over another, those (plural) who are elders in age physically and spiritually, should only "consensusly" oversee, superintend, live alongside or yoke up with those, who are younger (or less mature) in the Lord, that they may edify them and encourage them in the Lord as loving Believers. This religious spirit of control has caused a great cancer that has ate away at the core of today's church. MONEY has replaced faith, grace with power, repentance with arrogance, and man for Jesus.

Just look around need I say more. Live in the Spirit of Christ wherever you are at, your stay here in this life is temporary let him have your all now, don't invest in earthly things that will past and has past away, NONE of it, person, place, or things. Those places that are built on a monetary foundation is NOT of God, period, surely you have been or will be "hoodwinked." This sharing by brother Buff is just one example of zillions, look to the Lord in ALL things check out this witness of history...

When the Ethiopian eunuch heard the good news about Jesus, as chronicled in Acts 8, “he went on his way rejoicing.” It is alleged that when he arrived back in Ethiopia, he shared the Good News with others of his kin and, as a result, “The Church of Eunuchs” was founded. A large edifice was then constructed, and over the entryway a large sign, in large letters, read, “The Eunuch Church.”

But then things began to change among the new colony of believers. It was reported there arose quarreling among the various parties within the community of the redeemed. Some were saying, “I follow Philip,” or “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Matthew,” or “I follow Luke,” or “I follow Christ,” or “I follow God.” The original eunuch insisted that they be called “The Eunuch Church” or “The Church of Eunuchs.” No consensus was reached and, as a result, the following churches or religious parties ensued and became part of the partisan landscape:
The Eunuch Church
The Church of Philip
The Pauline Church
The First Church of Matthew
The Congregation of Luke
The A Cappella Church of Christ
The Assembly of God

Thus schism was in full bloom. Even the “Christ” and “God” parties were wrong. They were wrong because they rejected other believers. Each church refused to recognize each other as valid Christians. And each church’s doctrinal platform centered around conformity.

It is now time to ask: Did our Lord die for all of this mess? Heavens, no! The apostle John tells us that “Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one” (John 11:51-52).

Who are scattered among sects and parties and factions? God’s children! Now we know why our reformer forefathers sought to “unite the Christians in all the sects.” Let us no longer promote the Baptist sect, the Church of Christ sect, the Christian Church sect, the Roman Catholic sect, the Methodist sect, the Presbyterian sect, or any of the others. Let us, instead, proclaim Jesus and Him crucified in an effort “to bring them [God’s children] together and make them one.”

Away with all of our sects and churches and religious parties! They have splintered the one body of believers into multiple factions. We have divided ourselves out of practical existence. Tear down our idols—church edifices—and ground them into powder. Either that or convert them into humanitarian centers for the down-trodden and destitute. We either dismantle our holy icons and sacred parties or the day will come when the world will look upon them—and us—as antiques.

Look to Europe for an example? Most of the population there have lost all interest in modern-day “Churchianity.” They see more good out of the church than in church. Unless we reform the whole mess we have created from inside out, we will be no better off than the prodigal son who left home and squandered his inheritance among prostitutes and wound up wallowing and eating with the pigs. The mud holes are looking us straight in the eyes.

The epidemic of moral failure among men in the church today

By: J. Lee Grady

The epidemic of moral failure among men in the church today is directly tied to our lack of healthy relationships.

Despite the proliferation of iPhones, Blackberries, e-mail and social networking Web sites—not to mention Starbucks locations—many Christian men, if they are honest, will tell you they are lonely. They may Twitter several times a day to co-workers; they may have occasional golf buddies; they may even grab coffee with colleagues from time to time. But so many men who attend church regularly are friendless.

This was made real to me last weekend when I spoke to a group of men at a large charismatic church in Rochester, N.Y. I was talking about three different types of relationships we need: (1) "Pauls," who serve as spiritual fathers; (2) "Barnabases," peer-level encouragers who support and challenge us; and (3) "Timothys," younger men we inspire and mentor. (Read More)

Donnie McClurkin: 'I Get So Mad at These Preachers!'

It appears that Pastor Donnie McClurkin sees what I see. Thank God I am not the only pastor that is not afraid to talk about the issue of Spiritual Abuse in the Church body.

Click here to read what he told Essence Magazine about this issue in an interview this week. If you have read my new book, you will notice that he says many of the same things that I discuss in my book. If you have not read my new book, why not?

The coming evangelical collapse

Oneida, Ky. - We are on the verge – within 10 years – of a major collapse of evangelical Christianity. This breakdown will follow the deterioration of the mainline Protestant world and it will fundamentally alter the religious and cultural environment in the West.

Within two generations, evangelicalism will be a house deserted of half its occupants. (Between 25 and 35 percent of Americans today are Evangelicals.) In the "Protestant" 20th century, Evangelicals flourished. But they will soon be living in a very secular and religiously antagonistic 21st century.

This collapse will herald the arrival of an anti-Christian chapter of the post-Christian West. Intolerance of Christianity will rise to levels many of us have not believed possible in our lifetimes, and public policy will become hostile toward evangelical Christianity, seeing it as the opponent of the common good. (Read More)